Funny? (Starbucks)

[Originally posted on January 28, 2008]


So...does anyone like Starbucks? Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit. Terrible overcooked crap that costs way too much for a sub-par taste experience.


Here's the first problem: it's over-roasted. Sure, that gives Starbucks coffee its nasty, bitter taste, but it also has another more insidious effect...that's right: dark-roasting coffee lowers its caffeine content. Now that's all well and good for the crappa-rappa-frappa-alpaccino-swilling dilettantes who view coffee as a type of recreational activity instead of how I view it which is comparable to, say, heroin. I feel that if someone in front of me in line hasn't figured out what they want in the half-hour it took for them to get to the register, I should, legally, be allowed to kill them.